dallas, tx / denton, tx (living room / )
at: larry the gnome was
lp: celebrating his allergies by taking a pleasant stroll through the forest on a Red Level Pollen Alert day. Suddenly,
at: a Claritin fairy appeared, but was immediately eaten by a bear. Larry could barely breathe. His nasal passage was as clogged as
lp: Marlon Brando's aorta. But Larry was a proud gnome and he knew he hadn't lived 683 years to be taken out by some measly microspore. Pumping his gnarled fists at the sky, Larry dared God, shouting
at: through his congestion, "YOU CAND'T STANDD IN MBY WAY ANDY LONGER! I'MB GOING DTO END ITD ALL!" Though God had given Larry a handicap, (s)he made the mistake of trusting him with a red button that read, "Push Here to End it All." Trembling with fear and rage, Larry reached inside his breast-pocket for the kill-switch...but it wasn't there.
lp: As Larry desperately rummaged through his neon NKOTB fanny pack, Stellone the Jewish Hobgoblin emerged from behind some nearby shrubbery. "Shalom!" said Stellone to the Gnome.
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